Sunday, March 22, 2015

Am I agnostic?

Kathy and Stephen fed me breakfast a little earlier than usual, then Kathy sat on the back lanai while waiting for me to go potty. After that they put me in the hoosegow and went to church. They came back were very excited because I had a clean dry crate. Stephen took me out back and told me that Lake Tapps Community Church, had their first baptism in the church building; they bought a portable baptismal. What's a baptism?

It is when you put water on someone. Because I have had some mishaps, I must have had several baptisms. But, I thought the water thing was called a shower. Stephen agreed, I have had showers, not baptisms.

Kathy and Stephen sat down to lunch, (Mexican lasagne using corn totillas instead of noodles), and put me in my crate, so I did some thinking. I guess I haven't been baptized. Also, Stephen and Kathy have left me alone in a crate four times since I have been at my forever home. Twice it was for church, once for small group, once for a meeting with the newcomers to the church. Hmmm, being the smart Rottweiler that I am, I am starting to see a pattern, I am not baptized, I don't go to church. Next time Stephen leaves his iPhone unattended maybe I can do a Google search.

It turns out that churches use something called a Bible, which is a book that lives in a nylon zipper case so they don't get easily turned into a chewtoy. Since I have the attention span of a gnat at this age I didn't do a comprehensive search.  I did find one verse using Google's Canine to English language tool. Revelation 22:15, "Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood." When they say outside, do they mean where I go potty, or do they mean separated from my pack? When I was six weeks old, Rambo, my grandfather was telling some jokes. One was, "Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a Dog." I asked Granpa, "What does agnostic mean?" He said it is someone that is not sure about God. I wanted to ask Rambo, why he said Dog not God, but he walked away. Maybe when I get a bit older I can figure this out.

Chewtoy Deterrent

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