Sunday, March 29, 2015

Palm Sunday + Look and Sit + Kong Genius

Stephen and Kathy went to church and left me alone in my dog crate; again. This is the third Sunday my pack has abandoned me. That is bad news, they say it takes 21 days to develop a habit, so Stephen and Kathy are turning into habitual craters. I wish they would let me come, I could do the cute puppy bit. In the Jewish faith, the holiest day of the year is Yom Kippur, people fast and draw close to G-d. If you say "the day" to a practicing Jew, they know exactly what you mean. In the Christian faith, they have a whole week starting with Palm Sunday. What does that mean to a puppy? Thank you for asking, it means there will events at church throughout the week, meaning more time in solitary confinement. If you use the Doggle Calendar to translate from people time to dog time, a week in people time is forty nine days in dog time, and approaches infinity in puppy time. Is there really such a thing as dog time?

They don't know that I know, but they are planning to sneak out again tonight for small group. Stephen was making his notes for the study while watching me in the bathroom.

The pack is spending some quality time with me this afternoon, maybe it helps assuage their feelings of guilt for putting me in the dissociation box twice in one day. I got to meet the across-the-street neighbor, Shane. He was outside tearing up the bushes, I like to do that too. Stephen took me for a walk for a short distance and when I would start to pull on the lead, he would stop and we would practice look and sit. Hey, don't laugh, anything for a treat.

Speaking of treats, Stephen gave me a new yes, yes, chewtoy. Kathy was wearing the dress she wore to church and its hem came to about 8" from the floor. I just couldn't resist. To the tune of Cell Block Tango:

She had it coming, she had it coming
She only had herself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha any puppy would have done the same

Where was I? It has been over three seconds. Oh yeah I think Stephen gave the toy to distract me while Kathy changed clothes. This chewtoy smells like it has bacon in it. They call it a Kong Genius, cause you have to be genius to get the treat. It is not as difficult as the chewtoy exhibit at New Jersey's Liberty Science Center. That chewtoy's design was purchased from Erno Rubik by the Ideal Toy Company, (the folks that invented the Teddy Bear chewtoy), in 1974. Here I am hard at work to get my just dessert.

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